Confessions of a broken heart...
26.02.2009 0 °C
Dear Ibong Pipit,
I am really sorry for not being able to update you on what's happening on my life. I was just so busy lately trying to find ways in forgetting someone that I once love that after all left me still. I am pertaining to the gay in my last entry, Tim. After a week of writing the entry he texted me na wala na sila ng bf nyang confused sa gender preference ( bi-sexual daw..no offense meant ). I was somehow saddened by the news kasi before he keeps on telling me that he would never give up kahit anong mangyari for a change daw sa lovelife nya. Nirespeto ko naman yun kaya although, I know I am gonna enter in a very complicated situation, I gladly accepted everything . Somehow underneath my always scattered brain, it was rejoicing. Bakla lang ako, I am not hypocrite, natuwa ako kasi alam kong kahit pano I am already seeing a clearer vision on what's gonna happen on our status. More than friends less than lovers. But all those hopes were shattered matapos kung malaman from him as well na ang bago nyang boyfriend eh ang bestfriend nyang mas bading pa saken na ayon sa kanya eh ( bi-sexual din ). I got mad at him not to the fact that he dumped me ( Oo sige na, somehow meron ding galit dahil dun) , but the fact that I was introduced to that bestfriend as his suitor. Another thing that aggreviates me is that di nya man lang sinabi saken na at that time nililigawan na din pala sya ng bestfriend nya. When I asked him to meet me personally because I need some explanations, he texted me:
" Dapat kasama si Mic, irespeto naman natin sya..."
and I replied:
" Bakit ako ba nirespeto mo, and besides can you understand that this is just between the 2 of us and this does not concern you new BF ( what I acually mean on this is his quoted bi-friend ). "
Pero syempre di ko tinext yun. Eventhough I hate him at that time. Ganito lang naging text ko:
" Huwag nalang kong sasama din sya..."
He even texted sorry to me. Sa isip-isip ko for what? Sa panloloko mo? Ang di ko lang naman matanggap is the fact na kumain ako kasama ang karibal ko pala. After that I have decided to erase him in my life. I deleted everything that would remind me of him, though it was difficult especially nung mga unang araw palang. I wanted to call him and say I am sorry and that I wanted him to be back eventhough may bago na sya. Buti nalang di ko ginawa. Naging tama lang din ang time nun coz I have a planned vacation unto my hometown. At least kahit pano magagawa kong kalimutan kahit sandali lang ang buhay ko sa MNL. Lahat iniwan ko sa airport on the day of my travel. Leaving not just the sad memories behind as well as the happy ones. Gusto ko kasi na pag-apak ko ng Leyte wala akong iisipin kundi ang mag-enjoy.
To tim, I thank you for helping me overcome a situation that I have been dealing with for almost 2 years now. I owe you for that. But I wanna tell you something as well.
" You are the craziest thing that happened to me. Mali man pero masaya pa din ako and I thank you for all of that but I hate you because you didn't even take into consideration when you chose that bi-quoted friend of yours over me. Isa kang tanga. Ubod ng tanga. But I can't do anything about it. Kanya-kanya lang katangahan yan. "
Lubos na nagmamahal,
Ang kaakit-akit na bakla