A Travellerspoint blog

Ang puso nga naman...haaay...

It's hard to love someone who is already comitted.

storm -1 °C

Dear Ibong Pipit,

Hi it has been a long time since my last entry in my personal blog. Sorry have been very busy lately. I decided to wrote an entry again, not for my usual topic about my friends but for myself. Di kpo din kasi ma-share laht sa mga friends ko. Syempre somethings has to be kept within yourself na lang, di ba. Kaya eto, I decided to write an entry para malabas ko lahat ng gusto kong sabihin.

This article though is it all about myself. Wala na kami ng naging long time partner ko. It has been 2 years since I have decided to let go of everything after fighting for a relationship that seems to be very unworthy. I already did my part, tama na siguro ang mahalin ko sya and give him everything that I have na hindi man lang pinahalagahan. So far, masakit oo, until now, I haven't fully moved on, but if I won't at magpakamartyr pa din ako, I won't grow as an individual. OO, mahal ko pa sya hangang ngayon, I won't deny that fact, I am a culprit but not a pretender. I am trying to move-on bit my bit. Gathering the pieces of my ownself that has been broken for 2 years now. Until this person came. He is totally different from other guys that I have met and been with a relationship with. Aside from the fact that he is not straight nor a bi-sexual, he has a totally different attitude as well. He is a friend of my dear roommate. It was one evening that I can't talk with someone though and hasnothing to do. I was very bored at that time os I ask my roommate to give me a textmate. It was just a joke at first, then he replied: Hu u?. The usual questions. We exchanged few text messages. After a few text sessions, We decided to meet up, last november 20, 2008. We have decided to meet up in a cafe in our building. From that point on, we started dating. Until now. The line between us is very unclear. He has a boyfriend that he introduced to me once. He is not my boyfriend, yes, but the fact that I have something to look forward to is what keeps me moving on. It maybe quite impossible for the both of us to be together at this time, but being with him is more than enough. Just wanna share this though, He sent me a message yesterday.

It is hard to love someone who is committed, but harder if that person loves you too.

Til then my dear Ibong Pipit. Thanks for letting me write again in your page. I feel alittle bit better now.[quote]

Posted by akosidiosa 14:37 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel Comments (1)

Lies, Truth and Consequence

mga pagtatapat ng ibong pipit...( courtesy of the peer trainer )

all seasons in one day 9 °C

167350
Hi Ibong Pipit,

I wrote you an article again kasi wala lang...May gusto lang sana akong ibahagi sayo. Do you still remember my entry last time about the girl named Ms. maganda and Mr. Hyperactive. So far po si Ms. Maganda she is already trying to make a way para naman kahit pano ay magawa nya ng makapag move-on from their current situation. It started in the house of the kaakit -akit na gay na friend nung dalawa. Ms. Maganda, at last was able to gather enough courage to start the ending of their forbidden love. Pero itong si Mr. Hyperactive hindi nya muna tinanggap ng ganun kadali ang mga naging events in his life. I know it's quite difficult for the two of them to live separate lives ( Oh di ba parang kanta lang ) . But in the first place, what I am thinking, in just a very simple and a logical way, It begun in a very complicated situation, It will end in a complicated way as well. Tama ba ang naging parang conclusion ko for the story?
Yesterday, Ms. Maganda sent me a link. She created her own article. It was full of pain and sacrifices. I was teary-eyed when I was reading it. I can really feel her pain. Ang di ko lang nagugustuhan kasi nagiging, I don't wanna use the term but it seems to me, it would best describe sa attitude ni Mr. Hyperactive towards the situation. He is selfish. I am not blaming him. I know how it feels to be in love in a wrong setting. It's really difficult. Kung baga, kanya-kanya lang katangahan yan, kanya-kanya kabaliwan. I understand kung bakit ang pakiramdam nya they don't have to listen to other people's comments kasi sila naman ang may relasyon ( kung meron man ) which is apparently true. But then, If we are to look at the situation in a different point of view there are a lot of people who will sacrifice. I know it's difficult to give up something, especially if that something means a lot to you. But the point is, sino ba ang hindi nahihirapan? Pareho lang naman sila. There are times when Ms. Maganda will ask me on what to do? Sabi ko lang sa kanya, "kung ano ang sa tingin nyang tama." Sya na mismo ang nagsabi: Ayaw nyang magsimula ulit. Sabagay sino nga ba ang may gusto? Para ka lang kasing nagpatayo ng bahay at nung mabubuo na saka ka naman magsisimula ulit!!! Di ba may sense...
Ang sa akin lang, sa mga taong involve sa teleserye na to. I know it's difficult, but no one tells you to choose it, right? Tapos sasabihin nyong, di naman kasi natuturuan ang puso, hindi nga but you can control it!!!! Matagal ng naprove ng science na kaya nilagay ang utak sa ibabaw ng katawan for it to have full control of your body functions... At there no such easy thing here on earth...Everyone is created and destined to experience every single kind of pain in a different ways...It just so happened that you are destined go through this pain in this way...We can't do anything to chng it, but what we can do would be to chng the way we react to it? Right?
Ang sa akin lang, I hope you'll arrive at the right decision in the right time...You have amde a mistake once, I hope you will have it right now..!!!

Sumasainyo,

ang kaakit-akit na bakla

Posted by akosidiosa 17:09 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel Comments (0)

A sad love story

read on.........

storm -45 °C

I was b trowsing through the internet kasi masyadong mahaba ang avail time hangang sa mapadpad ako sa site wherein I read this story, I hope you'll enjoy....

A story by Nap Gutierrez of Inquirer “Libre”. I really like the story so I decided to post it even if its too long. This is a romantic love story that was sent to Nap Gutierrez via email. I love it.

Si Irene ang nagkukuwento nito. Nakipaghiwalay siya sa kanyang boyfriend two years ago na mahal na mahal niya. Sa di inaasahang pagkakataon, nagkita sila ulit ng ex-boyfriend niya pero kasama nito and babaeng pakakasalan niya.

“My knees were shaking as I glanced at him, my ex-boyfriend, he was with someone, malamang girlfriend niya. I pretended na di ko siya nakita, but he grabbed my shoulder bag at napalingon ako…alam ko siya ang humila ng bag ko.

“Irene”, (usual na tawag niya sa akin), at parang wala lang, I said “hi.” Kanina pa raw niya ako nakita hindi lang daw ako namamansin. Sabi ko na lang pasensiya na, I was busy fixing my things, sabay smile.

He asked me if I received the invitation to his wedding…saka ko lang naalala na ikakasal na nga pala siya, kelan? Three days from now…date pa ‘yon ng anniversary namin…The man I loved before is announcing the date of his wedding with this curly haired lady in front of me…the man who was deeply in love with me before *sigh*.

Its been two years since we last talked, siguro masasabi kong I missed him so much. Hindi lang talaga maganda ang naging paghihiwalay namin, may mga bagay na talaga na dapat ayusin, may mga bagay na nasira sa mga hindi inaasahang pangyayari. Pero akala ko lang na magiging maayos ang lahat.

As I opened the invitation, napansin ko agad ang date, anniversary nga namin dati. Una kong naisip inaasar niya ako, tamang ganti lang sa mga ginawa ko noon. Pero hindi ako nagpaasar. Eto nga at nakikipagchikahan pa ako sa harap ng kanyang fiance. Bakit? Dahil ba wala lang sakin? Ayos lang na makipagbolahan ako dito sa kanilang dalawa? Ang hirap kaya ng ginagawa ko gayon, trying to be nice to them.

Naah!! Nagsisi na ako noon, ayoko nang magsisi ulit ngayon. Gusto kong ipakita sa kanya na masaya ako para sa kanilang dalawa. Oo, dapat may ayusin pa akong mga bagay-bagay, pero naisip ko para saan pa?

Wala naman na akong babalikan, wala naman na akong pagbabawian sa kasalanang nagawa ko. Pero kung alam nya lang sobrang nagsisi ako sa mga nangyari. Kung alam lang niya kung anong mga gusto kong sabihin ngayon. Hindi ko siya iniwan, nawala lang ako saglit para ihulma ang sarili ko sa kung aino mang gusto niyang maging ako. Pero siyempre hindi niya ako naintindihan. Pero umaasa ako na kahit papaano sana, alam niya yon.

“We have to go Irene,” nasabi ng kanyan fiance,”aasahan ka namin sa kasal.” “Sh.. uhm yeah.. p-pupunta ako.” Napangiti lang sakin si John. Heto na wedding day na. Exactly 2 p.m. kami dumating sa church. Kasama ko bestfriend kong si Marianne. Chinika na agad niya ako, ano daw ba nararamdaman ko na hindi ako ang bride ni John, sagot ko “wala lang.” She just smiled at me, thinking that “wala lang” nga talaga. Pero kung alam nya lang, I wanted to shout in front of everybody. Gusto kong ipaalam na ako ang dapat na inaabangan ng lahat ngayon.

Pero di pa ako baliw para gawin ang mga bagay na yon dahil lang sa lalaking mahal ko pa rin “yata”? After 15 minutes, the ceremony started. I noticed the motif, it was pink my favorite color. I asked the girl beside me kung sinong nag-asikaso ng lahat ng ito. She said si John daw. Tango lang ang naisagot ko pabalik. As I quietly watched the ceremonies, there was a girl beside them who motioned forward to pick her microphone. Sabi ko medyo malilibang na ako, gusto ko kasing nakakapanood ng mga kumakanta.

Maya-maya lang, she started to sing. Teka, familiar ‘yong song ah. I know the song…I almost cried when I heard that. That’s our theme song. How dare he play that song haband nandito ako! Hindi ko ma-gets kung anuman ang gusto niyang palabasin, kung nananadya ba siya o talagang inaasar nya lang ako.

“You may now kiss your bride,” sabi ng pari. Di kona napansing natapos ang kanta dahil sa mga sunud-sunod na pumasok sa isip ko. He looked at me first before he kissed his wife. Gusto ko siyang batuhin ng sapatos ko sa mga ginagawa nya. Kelangan kong makahanap ng tiyempo para maconfront siya, para maintindihan ko ang mga nangyayari. Pinagkakaisahan ba nila ako? O feeling ko lang yon?

Tapos na ang kasal, hindi na maganda ang mood ko, bakit pa kasi ako nag-i-stay? Lalo lang akong naiinsulto sa mga nakikita ko sa paligid. Mas maraming bagay lang akong nakikita na nagpapaalala noong kami pa. I really have to go, I have no purpose of being here. Kinakausap ko na ang sarili ko. Walang lingun-lingon akong naglakad papalayo. Kailangan kong makalabas ng simbahan agad. It was two steps away from the opened dor of the church when unexpectedly.

“Where are you going?” I slowly faced him with teary eyes, there was a long awkward pause. “What are you doing?” I looked straight at him..”That was supposed to be.. my question…” His eyes were full of questions. We just stared at each other.

After a few seconds, I sighed more heavily. And then…

How dare you play our song in you wedding ceremony? How dare you pick my favorite color as your motif? How dare you choose our anniversary date as your wedding date?”

My tears falling freely. “How dare you look at me before you kissed your wife?”.

John looked straight at me and after a few second of silence he said, “because that was the last and only way I could imagine you were my wife.”

Happy reading................

Posted by akosidiosa 06:45 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel Comments (1)

song in my mind

song in my mind

storm -17 °C

This is a song dedicated to a friend whose confused with her feelings:

Ikaw Sana

by: Ogie Alcasid

Sa buhay natin
mayroon isang mamahalin,
sasambahin.

Sa buhay natin,
mayroon isang
bukod tangi sa lahat,
at iibigin ng tapat.

Ngunit sa di sinasadyang
pagkakataon
at para bang ika'y nilalaro ng
panahon.
May makikilala,
at sa unang pagkikita,
may tunay na pag-ibig na nadarama.

Refrain:
Bakit ba hindi ka nakilala ng
ako'y malaya pa.
At hindi ngayon ang puso ko'y
may kapiling na.
Bakit ba hindi ka nakilala ng
ako'y nag-iisa.
Sino ang iibigin,
ikaw sana.

Di mo napapansin,
sa bawat araw na kasama mo sya,
kapiling ka nya.

Bawat sandali
punung-puno
ng ligaya't saya,
damdamin ay iba.

At sa di sinasadyang
pagkakataon, at para bang ika'y nilalaro ng
panahon.
Bigla kayong nagyakap,
mga labi nyo'y naglapat,
ang inyong mga mata'y nagtatanong
at nangangarap.

Sana magustuhan mo friend......

Posted by akosidiosa 15:52 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel Comments (0)

Chismisan sa floor

Mga pagtatapat ng pusong nagmamahal!!!!( drama.....)

Dear Ibong Pipit ( courtesy of the Peer trainer ),

167350

May mga pagkakataon talagang ang hirap intindihin ng mga pangyayari sa mundo, Kung baga, mga sudden twist of things!!! I really can't understand because its really hard to understand ( ang gulo diba?...!!!)somethings happening in this world...hahaha drama..But then if we are to weigh situations and see things in different point of views, things are happening for a reason...
May ikwekwento ako sa inyo...( Chismis pala to...) This is regarding a close friend of mine, girl yata sya, hindi ko lang sure, na nadadawit ngayon sa isang very complicated na storyline, parang, Bakit ngayon ka lang ang drama ng lola mo. Itago natin sa pangalan ang girl na, Ms. Maganda ( coz she's beautiful ), at si Boy sa pangalang Mr. Hyperactive ( coz wala lang, wala na akong maisip) This is the story:
It started from an outing na unang pinagdesisyunan ng lahat ng memebers ng grupo...and as days go nearer, isa isa ding nawala and mga nagsipagsuggest ng outing na yun until 3 nalang kaming natira. Akala ko nung una, as in friends ang turinan ng dalawa, they are sweet, but I'm already used to it, because i always see those acts of beggars towards another beggar( joke lang po). Sweet si lalaki kay babae, ganun din si babae at ganun din ang dalawa kay bading( ako yun)...We spent the whole weekends together and by that ,our bond as friends became stronger. Sa outing din na yun napag-usapan namin ang mga bagay-bagay sa mundo, malungkot, masaya, nakakaaliw, magaganda, (gaya ko!!!!), mga pangit (gaya nila), mga seksi na gaya ko (kapal noh?). Hanggang sa mapadapo ( talagang me ganun eh!!) ang usapan tungkol sa nalilink na girl kay Mr. Hyperactive!!!Napagdesisyunan namin ngayon na itong girl na ito ay pagselosen, I mean para lang naman marealize nya na mahal nya pala si Mr. Hyperactive!!!!Ganun na nga ang naging usapan, so para true to life nga, syempre lahat ng taong nakapaligid, dapat, mapaniwala din sa scenario!!! e di ganun na nga ang nangyari, sweet ang dalawa and me only thinking na ganun nga talaga because it was the thing that we would like to portray. Until one day, sa bahay ng isang maganda at kaakit-akit na bakla, ako yun!!! Nangyari ang mga pagtatapat ng mga pusong nagmamahal( bwahahahaha). I was even shocked, I can't believe it, kasi naman ni ha ni ho, walang sinasabi si Mr. Hyperactive at si Ms. Maganda. I'm happy for them though, but then, with the situation right now, I don't think it will last. But, I know, they already know what they are doing, matatanda na naman siguro sila. Ang sa akin lang:
I wish for their hapiness. I want them to be together because they are my best buddies, however, i think they will be even happier if they will not hurt someone. Sabagay, wala naman tayong magagawa, we are just humans and the reason why we are created is to look for the ultimate happiness in this world and to live our life to the fullest. Kanya-kanya na lang sigurong pananagutan yan, when time comes. I know it's wrong, it's unfair for all the parties involve, but I only have a simple question to those people that I'm gonna be sending this blog to...."WHAT IS FAIR AND WHAT'S UNFAIR IN THIS WORLD?", pag di mo ba sinaktan ang mga taong nasa paligid mo and you sacrificed your own happines, is that fair? Or you're going to hurt other people for your own happiness...Come to think of it, All things and events happening in your life seems to be unfair one way or another.!!!!

Yun na..!!!!

Sumasainyo,

ang kaakit akit na bakla

------happy reading----

Posted by akosidiosa 14:33 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel Comments (3)

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